I am not sure if I simply failed to notice this the million other times I ate at Burger King, or maybe I did but just chose to ignore it because I was starving. Maybe it only bothered me so much this time because the employee had long greasy hair down to her rear end and equally long fingernails. Either way, I found it absolutely appalling, because not only do I have to eat the food, but I also have to spend the whole time wondering where her hands were prior to making it. Why would these thoughts be drifting around my mind you may ask? This is because at good ol’ Burger King they do not feel that it should be required that their employees sport hairnets or gloves. Now, I am not a very picky person, and I am pretty low key when it comes to my fast food. I am not the type to bring something back ten times because they forgot to put extra ketchup or whatever. Some people might think it is fine for restaurant employees to not wear gloves and/or a hairnet. But, I am not one of those people. I mean seriously, we all do things absentmindedly like scratch an itch, bite our fingernails, or even pick our nose. And that is fine with me. Unless you are about to make me a hamburger three minutes later. You cannot tell me these people go all day without doing any of these things. It is impossible! So why in the hell do they not have gloves on if they are going to be handling food?!?!
I decided to investigate this BK blunder further, because I know a big story when I see one..So I did what any respectable, well-established journalist would do…I Googled it. As soon as I hit the Enter button, BOO-YAH! I was instantly bombarded with declarations of Burger Kings less-than-stellar service. I knew that I couldn’t be the only one concerned with this recent development. I mean there are pages and pages and pages of complaints about BK. From customers to ex employee’s, there is something for everyone! Most of the complaints are the usual: non-existent customer service, screwing up orders, no gloves or hairnets (See? It isn’t just me!), stuff like that with a few extra nasty complaints thrown in. You know the kind where you aren’t really sure if the person is just making it up as they go along or it really happened to them. Anyways, back to the problem at hand. I understand that when you are paying two bucks for a burger you cant expect a fine dining experience, but come on. Even the managers don’t seem to give two shits about anything. I waited a good 15-20 minutes for my food, and most of the time the four employees, one being a manager, were standing around chatting. I also noticed that the manager kept snapping at the younger employees. I’m telling you it took everything I had not to give that manager a piece of my mind. If you want to know how not to run a restaurant, go to Burger King. It’s like during their staff meeting the manager says “Okay, today we are going to aim to be as unhelpful as possible…Oh and feel free to manhandle the burgers sans gloves, just make sure you scratch your ass first..And if there are more then five customers in a line, be sure to shuffle around aimlessly behind the counter, while staying as far away from the actual cash register as possible.” Seriously.
Well, I just finished shooting off a rather strong-worded email to the upper echelons of BK. I do not expect that my one email will spark a change. I suspect that they get more complaints then compliments. I sent it more for my own sake then anything. So at least I can say I didn’t just lie down and succumb to their shittiness. Well, actually, now that I think of it, that is exactly what I did. If i had any balls at all I should have slammed that meal back down on the dirty counter, reamed them out for their lack of sterility, and asked-no DEMANDED- that my money be returned. But is that what I did? No. I waited the twenty-something minutes while a woman with hair that was greasier than the fries thoroughly molested my hamburger and mauled my fries. Then I took the meal, mumbled a pathetic thank you, and went home, where I ate my cold whopper and soggy fries. They weren’t even that bad considering…as long as didn’t think about the meal prep…Hey, what can I say? Sometimes you gotta pick your battles…
Oh, one more thing…While we are on the topic of fast food I thought I would also share something that I came across online. This is a list of popular fast food joint’s secret menus…Yes, I said “Secret Menu’s”. The tasty extras that aren’t on the menu and they don’t want you to know about. Click the link for the scoop…In the meantime, I think I will head over on over to Rotten Ronnie’s for a “Monster Mac.” And they best be wearing F’in gloves!